Motivation Monday: My Journey to Dare Greatly

My Journey to Dare Greatly

I mentioned this book on my blog way back in September.

I have to tell you, that reading the book brings on some very messy feelings. Just THINKING about writing my thoughts about the book makes me feel nauseous. I have had this post in draft form since October. Blank. Empty. Staring me down. Over Thanksgiving, I challenged myself to write this post before we got out for Winter Break. I got most of it down, but still couldn't post it yet. So as my New Year's Resolution to be more vulnerable, here we go.

As I worked through the book guide, the first activity was to define vulnerability in your own terms. This is what I wrote:

showing weakness

powerless

no control

being completely open

Clearly, I have did not have a high opinion about this tricky little adjective. 

Through her writing, Brene Brown is challenging my definition of the word. She hooked me on page 2 with this little gem of a quote...

My first thought after reading that was, "but I have to at least PRETEND to be perfect and REALLY PRETEND to be bulletproof. Yea, yea, I know. Mistakes are proof that you are trying, you need to have a growth mindset, stay positive, and all that other good stuff I tell students every single day. But to be completely honest with you, I have a hard time believing any of that. I have an even harder time giving myself a break.

I had a lot of realizations as I read through the book. Maybe someday I will feel brave enough to share them all. For now, I will just share 3 key things that I have recognized in myself.

1. I don't like asking for help.

I am really working on this one. I am, but it's hard. In my mind, I am capable of getting it all done and everything will be just fine. The next thing you know, I am melting down and  thinking, "why didn't I ask someone to help me." I guess I don't want to burden anyone. I have to say that this past year really shed some light on this issue for me. While I am stubborn and prideful, I am thankful that there are people who know me well enough to know when I need to be forced into letting them help me. And maybe they realize that I am not ok before I even do. 

2016 has been tough. Maybe one of the toughest years yet. The spring brought my first season of test administration. Between the amount of work that goes into it, not having a clue what to do most of the time, and the need to be perfect...I was a mess. From February to May I was in a constant state of stress. I told people I was on the STAARvation diet because I lost about 15 pounds from forgetting to eat lunch or being too busy. I also developed a pretty decent Vitamin D deficiency and now have prescription strength vitamins. The fourth grade team always made sure I had eaten my lunch. They realized there were many days that I did not have time to eat and would force me out of my office, away from the computer, to come eat with them. When I looked like a deer in headlights, they helped me stop for a minute, take a deep breath, and always helped me laugh.

And that was the easy stuff...

2 days before the May STAAR test, my dad was hospitalized. He wound up staying in the hospital for 62 days and having 9 different surgeries. Meanwhile, I came to work. I didn't cry. I didn't ask for help. I just did my job. People asked me later how I held it together and I am really not sure the answer to that question. The sad part is, I think I held it together because of the fear of vulnerability. I didn't want to "lose it" because I was worried I would never get it back. I didn't want people to pity me and heaven forbid give me that sad, "I feel so sorry for you" look.

When my dad was in the hospital, my coworkers and our school community didn't ask, "What do you need?" They said, "We are bringing you dinner, we are bringing food for the nurses, we are bringing you lunch." It wasn't a question. If it had been, the answer would have been, "I'm fine." I am forever grateful for people who know you well enough to just know how to take care of you. For my part, I will work on asking for help before I am too far gone to even know how someone could help me.

2. I have a hard time talking about how I really feel.

Is that weird that a counselor doesn't want to talk about her own feelings? I kind of feel like it is. I just want to put on a brave face or make a joke out of something that is uncomfortable. Don't let them see you sweat. I guess I don't want to make people uncomfortable with big emotional displays. I don't want people to think I am weak or need to be taken care of. All that to say, I never think that about anyone else. If someone else is hurting, I want to talk it out, wrap them up, and help them. I don't know why I think I am not worthy of the same treatment.

I tend to hold it all in until I break, have one big emotional breakdown over something, then move on. Clinically speaking, this is unhealthy. I am really going to make an effort to be proactive in talking to my "people" about things that are bothering me. I am really lucky to have an amazing set of friends and family who will listen, I need to make sure I am communicating with them.

3. I am my own harshest critic.

I know that no one is judging me like I am judging myself. Or if they are, they need to get a life because it takes a lot of time and energy to judge that harshly. I need to give myself a break sometimes. When I do open up to my very closest friends, they help bring me back down to earth and remind me not to be so hard on myself.

Part of being vulnerable is being open to your own imperfections and owning them. Challenge accepted! 

Here's to 2017 and being more vulnerable. What are your resolutions?

Teacher Tuesday: Katie Phillips Edition

Katie Phillips is one of a kind. I have always known that she was an amazing teacher. I would hear from parents, other teachers, and staff that she was just a rockstar. I knew that must be true, but when I was down in my little first grade bubble, I just had to take everyone's word for it. My mom was always a big fan of the 4th grade team when she worked at Beverly and would rave about Katie. My mama has pretty high standards for teachers, so that is a huge compliment. Actually, my mom was friends with Katie first. When I became the school counselor, she asked fourth grade to "take care of me" and they sure did.

Becoming the school counselor gave me the opportunity to see Katie's amazingness in action very frequently.  There is literally not anything she wouldn't do to make sure her students are successful and know they are loved. And boy does she love them. It's evident in everything she does. The way she interacts with them, jokes with them, and the way they know her. Walking into her classroom is like walking into someone's home. You can actually feel the love, the community, and the passion for teaching and learning. 

Katie also happens to be an exceptional friend. I can't tell you the number of times she was a lifesaver for me last year. During spring testing time when I was on the verge of a breakdown almost every day, Katie would pop in just to make sure I was ok. She made sure I took the time to eat my lunch and she always made sure to share funny stories with me. She also came up to school over the summer to do some filing for me. When I returned to school and told the office staff that they could find me stowed away in the records room for the next 6 hours, they said, "Katie came up and did that last week." She never said a word about it. She didn't do it for the credit or recognition. She just did it because she knew how much it would help me. 

I am forever grateful that Katie is in my life. As a coworker, and most importantly a friend.

Also, I try my hardest to call her by her newly married name, but excuse me if any time during this blog, "Katie Bohannon" is  written instead of Katie Phillips. And didn't she make the most GORGEOUS bride! 

How long have you been teaching? 

9 years: My first group of students are seniors in high school. 
Fun fact- Katie and I both have the same first group of kiddos. I think there will be some major tears at the senior reunion this spring.

Check out some of her former students who are now all taller than her! 

What is your classroom decor? 

My classroom is more of a color scheme. It's yellow, teal, and gray.

What is your favorite story about a student? 

My class a few years ago was preparing for an "Open Book" science test. They were allowed to use their notes and book to complete the test. The same week we were all preparing for Open House activities. At the end of the day, I was reminding them that tomorrow they had a test, and said, "But don't forget, your test is Open ......" and expected them to respond "BOOK!", but they responded "HOUSE!" I think I screamed into my stack of papers in my hand. "How do you have an open house test?!" We all laughed and realized that we were all overwhelmed from an extremely busy week!
My favorite part of this story is that I can hear Katie's infectious laugh and imagine her and her class just getting a huge kick out of this.

What is your favorite lesson to teach?

I enjoy teaching the stories behind Texas History. In any other subject, most kids have been exposed to a similar math concept, have already learned the basics of nouns, or have explored the scientific process. But Texas History is something they've never learned before. I love to get into the storytelling behind it and watch their faces. I incorporate reading skills into history, and they don't even realize it!

What inspires you? What is your strong?

My mom is my strong. She's the reason I've become a teacher. She teaches first grade at Prince of Peace Catholic School. When I was little, she and my dad created my very own classroom in our basement in Michigan. It was complete with tile floor, a chalkboard, student chairs, and an alphabet. When my friends came over, we always played school! When my mom went back to teaching, her school started later than mine. I'd go to school with her every morning before I headed to middle school and watch her teach. I saw her love and passion for teaching, and it became mine to

Here is the whole Bohannon Clan! Such a fun family.

What is your favorite Techy Tool?

4th grade has had fun implementing review games for tests. Some of our favorites are Kahoot, Plickers, and Socrative. The kids love it! 

What is your favorite Caffeinated Beverage?

Coffee with hazelnut creamer in the morning and Diet Coke at lunch. Must have both! 
When I snuck into Katie's room to take pictures after school, I found this right in the entryway to her room. I hear ya girl, much needed.

What is your favorite school celebration?

4th Grade S'More Success Writing Camp!

Ok yall! This is literally the coolest thing ever. The entire 4th grade gets totally decked out like a camp site. Tents, mountains, rivers, lanterns, fires, and the best part is that at the end, they get to eat S'Mores. I always make sure I'm near the 4th grade hall on Writing Camp day...you never know when they will have an extra S'More lying around.

What is your favorite thing to do in your free time?

I love to watch sports (not play them!) My favorite teams are the Dallas Mavericks and the Dallas Cowboys...and of course the Baylor Bears!
Fun Fact: Her hubby Rob works for the Cowboys, and you can see him on the sidelines during games. He is pictured below on the right. #famous 

Also, her love for the Mavs runs deep. Check out this entire collection of Mavs memorabilia and bobbleheads.

 Look at this awesome gift her class gave her one year! I told you they know her well.

Tell us your best classroom management trick.

I stole this one from my mom - Crack the Code! It's like a hangman game. If the entire class is doing something well, we earn a letter toward our code. After we fill in all the letters, we do whatever activity the code says. Our first one this year was "Let's Have a Popcorn Party!" It creates a "team" atmosphere as they work together to reach a goal.

Who is the favorite teacher you've ever had?

Ms. Garrett was my 6th and 7th grade math teacher. She wasn't only my teacher, she became a friend of mine throughout high school and beyond! Even though I hated math, she made me love it because of her. She taught me to form relationships with my students because that's what really matters to the kiddos.
Bravo, Mrs. Garrett. Katie is excellent at forming lasting relationships with students. Thank you for being a wonderful role model along with so many other influential teachers in Katie's life.

It was hard to pick just two of Mrs. Phillips' sweet kiddos. I knew they would all give great answers because they love her and know her so well. Taylor and Peyton both have a great sense of humor. I only wish I could convey their comedic timing through my writing. We laughed the entire time they were in my office for the interview. Mrs. Phillips was probably wondering what was taking so long, but I promise it was important work.

1. How old is your teacher?

T- 31

P-32

2. What does your teacher do for fun?

T- Have dance parties by herself and dance on the tables. Hmmm, let's hear more about that KP.

P- Play with her dog all weekend.

I'm thinking Peyton might be right. Look at this precious puppy, Madison.

3. What would your teacher do with $1,000,000?

T- Buy as many dogs as she can.

P-Buy another Madison, or dog treats, or a new car.

There is no shortage of Madison pictures with this girl! It was hard to just pick a few! 

4. If your teacher wasn't a teacher, what would she be?

T- A Vet!

P- The President

5. If your teacher was a fruit, which one would she be?

T- a Kiwi because she is so sweet! 

P- An apple or pear because her favorite color is green.

6. What scares your teacher?

T- Wasps

P- Beetles- I have to be the beetle picker-upper in our class.

Funny story, Katie once drove to work with a bee on. her. leg. and had no idea. Until it stung her the minute she got out of her car. Seriously, my worst nightmare. 

7. What is something your teacher doesn't like?

T- Ants! This morning she was banging her hands all over her desk to kill the ants because they were everywhere.

P- When we are checking homework and people aren't paying attention.

8. If your teacher could teleport, where would she go?

T- Madison Wonderland

P- Home to play with Madison and veg out on the couch.

9. What makes your teacher so special?

T- She is so nice and lets us have dance parties.

P- She makes learning fun. Even if it is something that should be kind of boring.

And we are out! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! 

Specialist Spotligt: Tameko Sanders Edition

This is a really fun one for me. I have known Tameko for my entire teaching career. I knew of her even when I was in college because my mom would talk about her all the time.

Mom and Tameko totally "get" each other. When those two get together, you want to be around...trust me.

Tameko is HILARIOUS and you are sure to get a good laugh every time you are around her. She totally gets my sense of humor and we can just exchange a look and know what the other is thinking. That really served us well through our first grade days together.

Tameko and I taught first grade together for 9 years. She was my FAVORITE person to be on recess duty with because we would just chat with the kids the entire time and listen to some very interesting little stories. One year, our other two teammates wanted to do lunch duty all year, so Tameko and I happily agreed to be on recess duty the entire year. I tell you what, the stories we have from that year are the best. We learned how to Dougie, she learned that I will run from a wasp faster than Usain Bolt, we traveled to "China" via a make believe tree trunk with a first grader as our guide. It was the best.

3 years ago, Tameko left the first grade classroom to become our gym teacher. Health and fitness are very important to her and she had always wanted to be a PE Coach. Let me tell you, she is amazing! Those kids are listening, learning, and having a blast in the gym every single day.

Tameko is generous, caring, funny, and also an amazing educator. She also has the most perfectly coordinated workout apparel I have ever seen in my life. #jealous

Meet the amazing, Coach Sanders...

How long have you been in education? 

22 years

Have you taught any other subject or worked in any other capacity in schools? 

1st Grade and I taught in Dallas ISD and Ennis ISD. And just so no one ever forgets, we wrote our names under the new carpet in the first grade hallway before she left to be the PE Coach. Our blood, sweat, tears, and names are under the carpet forever. 

What is your favorite Techy Tool? 

The Starbucks App. I totally cracked up when I read this! #winning

What is your favorite lesson to teach?

Four Corner Soccer

Coach Sanders in Action

What is your favorite thing to do in your free time?

Go out to dinner with my husband.

What is your favorite Caffeinated Beverage?

Diet Coke

What is your favorite children's book or author?

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

What is your favorite thing to do in your free time?

Read! 

Favorite teacher you've ever had?

 LaVerne Sneed

For this student interview, I chose 2 kiddos who know Coach Sanders well and they both have an excellent sense of humor. I knew I could get some pretty funny...and true answers out of them and they did not disappoint. Warren and Kylah are siblings. Warren is in 4th grade and Kylah is in 1st grade. 

How old is Coach Sanders?

Kylah- 44?

Warren- Hmmm...maybe 35?

What does she do for fun?

K- Kicks balls up into the wall in the gym.

W-Runs 5ks

She does run 5ks! We have done several together and I am sure I burned more calories from laughing than from running. 

What would she do with $1,000,000?

K- Buy new soccer balls and about 200 million running shoes.

W- Buy her own gym.

You can bet if she owned a gym, it would be decorated with style, flair, and inspiration! 

If she wasn't your coach, what would she be?

K- A Doctor! She knows all about health and she helps us when we get hurt.

W- An Olympic Runner

If Coach Sanders was a fruit, which one would she be and why?

K- Huh? An Orange? (then I asked her why) Uh...her head is nice and round like an orange?
W- Grapes because grapes roll around a lot and she is a runner and runs around a lot.

What is something Coach Sanders doesn't like?

K- Kids running around the school like crazy.

W- The gym getting flooded and also snakes.

Warren nailed it on this one. Coach Sanders can't stand snakes. When we taught first grade, our annual field trip was to the Dallas Zoo. For some reason, Coach Sanders never found time to take her group to the reptile room at the zoo. I'm sure they just spent too much time with the elephants or something ;). 

What is something that she always does?

K- Walks! I think she should change her name to Mrs. Walks a Lot.
W- Blows her whistle

If Coach Sanders could teleport, where would she go?

K- I think China. You have to walk a lot in China so she would like it there.

W- Cuba. Mostly because I know a lot about it from my History Fair project.

What makes Coach Sander so special?

K- She is so funny. One time she said, "bubba, butta, boooggiieee". Ok Tameko, let's hear the story on this one?!?!

W- She is smart and knows a ton of information about health. She taught us a lesson about when you should and shouldn't call the fire department. Like you shouldn't call the fire department when you can't find your little stuffed bear named Boo Boo.

Of course, we have to end with something a little silly! I hope you all enjoyed reading about the fabulous Coach Sanders.

Friday Faves

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Need I say more? The days between Thanksgiving and Christmas are magical. Happiness fills the air, people are kinder, smiles are brighter...I love it all. The weekend before Thanksgiving, I set up my Christmas tree (yes, I am one of "those" people). Unfortunately, when I set up my 8 year old tree, it looked a little more like Charlie Brown's tree than ever before.

I went to Home Depot in search of a new tree and found the perfect one. I bought the tree, walked to my car, and tried with all my might to get that thing to fit in the back. It wasn't all that heavy, just really awkward and wasn't fitting around the other stuff. I wanted to put it in the back seat but was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to get it in there either.

I guess I looked kind of pathetic staring at the box hanging out the back hatch, but the nicest man came over and helped me load the tree into my car and rearrange the back so it would fit. To him, it was probably no big deal. But to me, it meant a lot for him to take the time to help me out. It's the little things like this that make the holiday season bright and cheery.

Helpful people are my favorite.

The Sweetest Little Lady

A few weeks ago,  I was driving to work and running a little later than normal. As I was about to get onto the highway, I noticed a precious little Yorkie running across the road. I stopped, got him in my car, and called the number on his tag. His owner answered and sounded frantic. She explained that she was currently in the hospital and could not come get him right now, but she was so happy he was ok. I offered to keep him at my place for the day and she happily agreed. I brought him home, got him some water, called my school to tell them I would definitely be late and made my way to work. 

That afternoon, I called the lady and told her I would be home soon and that we could meet on the street in between our condos. When I got there, she was standing out front with these sweet flowers and yummy smelling candle. 

Of course, I tried to give them back to her and told her not to worry about it because I didn't really DO anything. She insisted that I keep them and then told me to read the cards later. 

This card that made me shed a sweet little tear is from her...

This card is from Harley, my new "furever" friend...

This whole exchange just made my day. Sweet doggies and the people who love them are my favorite.

Online Shopping

So, who else out there got sucked into the big sales online over the Thanksgiving break? Gap, May Designs, Nordstrom, Teachers Pay Teachers, and Diff Eyewear are just a few places I dropped some cash. I didn't spend too much and I feel great about everything I purchased. I'm especially excited about these pajamas I got from Francesca's

One of our theme days for College Week is "College Makes Dreams Come True" and we will dress up in pajamas. These arrived on my doorstep on Saturday and it was hard to resist putting the whole ensemble on and hanging on the couch all day.

Holiday Festivities

We had our staff holiday party at Pinstack yesterday and the Ugly Sweaters were in full effect. I love anything with a theme and being silly with my coworkers, so this is always a win for me. Check out some of these stylin' looks! 

These three were the winners of the contest and you can certainly see why. Although if anyone could make ugly sweaters look cute, it's these three! 

Waze

I don't know how I have ever lived without this app. It navigates around traffic and saves me from getting stuck in traffic on 75 almost daily. If you don't have this app, I highly recommend it. You can connect with friends on the app and "beep" at each other if you are both connected. Alice Michael drives even farther than I do for work, and as I am driving I often hear a "beep beep" coming through my car stereo. Don't worry, she's not "beeping" and driving, her kids Joshua and Grace like to give some of us a shout out on their way to work. It makes me smile every time.